My Girlfriend is a Pirate

She's been going through some changes
that I just don't understand.

It seems she has a silver hook
instead of her left hand.

Her peculiar lust for gold
has formed some trenches in the yard

Now my girlfriend is a pirate
and all she says is ARRR!

She's traded in her gap wear
for some wenchy pirate clothes.

It seems that someone manufactures
peg legged pantyhose.

She dresses in these stripey things
and boots up to her thigh

yeah, my girlfriend is a pirate
I must confess I'm going to cry.

She makes me swab the poop deck
and she makes me hoist the sails

While she's pillaging the tavern
in the search for mugs of ale.

She makes me climb the misen
as I weep in misery

cause my girlfriend is a pirate
and I'm a weak yuppie.

There's doubloons in the couch cushions
ancient maps under the bed.

And her stupid talking parrot's
always crapping on my head.

She prepares to board the couch
while I'm trying to watch the game

Yes, my girlfriend is a pirate
Treasure Island is to blame.

She has this British accent now
and waves her sword up high

Giving me a lusty look
with her one unpatched eye.

When we go to bed at night
she sleeps on the starboard side

Oh, My girlfriend is a pirate
All my friends are petrified.

She's keelhauled all my buddies
and I can't seem to stop her

because I fear her threats
of visiting Davy Jones's locker.

I tried to talk some sense to her
before she made me walk the plank

So she became a software pirate...
And I have microsoft to thank.

Now she burns expensive programs
instead of the nearest bar

but when there's write protection
I still hear her screaming ARRRR!!!

The jolly roger's on her desktop
and an accordian's on her knee

so my girlfriend is a pirate....
but my computer games are free.