You Put the HO in Psycho

I'm sorry, but I don't love you anymore
You unfaithful, slimy, goat molesting whore.
I knew that when you boiled my gerbil
I should have set you free.
So give me back my tapes
And stop calling me.

You said you liked my boots just to get laid.
Now every time I see you, I reach for a can of Raid.
You spread yourself like jam
For every other guy you see.
So pack your skanky bags
And stop calling me.

Stop calling me.
I want you gone.
Stop calling me.
Get off my lawn.
Stop calling me.
Just go away.
We're not going out anymore...OK?

You said this breakup really hurts your feelings.
So to emphasize you nailed up all my G-strings on the ceiling.
My lawn gnomes all have mohawks now,
There's a yak tied to my tree.
Take back your ugly couch
And stop calling me.

You hoard my empty toilet paper tubes.
You had a life size picture of me tattoed on your boobs.
You camp out naked on my porch
Singing Cure songs until three.
Don't make me call the SWAT team.
Stop calling me!

Stop calling me.
You crazy whore.
Stop calling me.
Get away from my door.
Stop calling me.
I'm gonna slam it.
You're not my girlfriend-
Goddammit!!!

You follow me around the grocery store.
You write death threats in mustard on my no-wax kitchen floor.
You just can't live without me,
So you'd rather I was dead.
Stop calling me!!!
Get a vibrator instead!!!!

Stop calling me!
Put down the spike.
Stop calling me.
Just take a hike.
Stop calling me.
This isn't fun.
Stop calling me.
Put down the poodle gun.
Stop calling me!!
No use to beg.
Stop calling me!
Don't hump my leg.
Stop calling me!!
You make me gag!!
STOP CALLING ME!!
AGGGGGGGGGGGH!